The need to fill silence with sound is rampant. The truth is that most of us are afraid of silence, fearing what may lie beneath it. This is not intentional, it’s simply a habit that has become the norm.
Talk covers things up as often as it attempts to express them. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we are really saying, perhaps finding ourselves on autopilot repeating old stories and thoughts.
The ability to listen to others begins with listening to ourselves. Meditation is one of these ways. But not all of us find meditation by sitting in stillness. It can come in many forms. Engaging in an activity that quiets your mind is essentially the intention. This may include walking, knitting, drawing, dancing, playing with a child, fitness, or gardening to name just a few. The more times we do this in a week, the more grounded we feel and the more we hear the most important things.
When we truly listen, it’s not just the words that we understand. We allow our whole selves to listen, and our heart is at the centre of the listening. We are conscious of the connection with the other whether they be a stranger or a loved one; in that moment we are one. We catch what is being said and what is not being said. We allow space for that to become clear. We learn what body language, tone, silence and the choice of words mean. We don’t need to force conversation for we see it is already happening. And then we decide when we need to speak and what feels important to say. Checking in to see if you understand correctly by taking in all the information you’re getting gets you further than relying on incessant talk alone.
Listening must include the heart. We need to soften into it, take our defences down, trust that we can accept or handle what we hear. We need to drop our own desires in order to truly listen. We can pick them up again later. Truth reigns over illusion when we listen completely. Through this process, we open ourselves to learning something new that empowers us to take the next step on our journey with love.
Imagine if we all began allowing more space in our conversations. What might we hear?
And, oh, how we may find ourselves releasing our burdens together and relaxing into trust.
The one break time I had, checking my phone and there arrived your blogpost in perfect timing. Life is a perfect symphony, a beautiful score, all we need to do is to live and love the counterpoint. Peter Oscar said: it’s not the notes you play that makes it, but the notes you decide to leave out. Silence carries more than what sounds do, often. The best musicians understand to listen to the notes played AND the rests in-between. It is that very marriage that creates RHYTHM, the impulse pod life. There’s masculine form (words, linguistic expressions) and the feminine one (music, poetic language); the manifested and the unmanifested. Together we live the most beautiful music and dance. Thanks for an inspiring and beautiful post, Jasjit!
Thanks Yawen for sharing a great metaphor through the language of music. Glad this post popped up in your moment between things.
Often, when I coach young musicians, when the ‘music’ doesn’t happen it’s because they’re too busy playing and not listening to each other. Once they relax into listening, the body naturally responds with the natural knowing and plays… Most people don’t guess this, but music making it’s indeed 75% listening and 25% playing.