Choosing is an interesting phenomenon. Some people make lists of pros and cons. Some seek advice from others. Some pray for signs. Some use reason and justifications. And some listen to their quiet inner voice.
My feeling of late is that something chooses me rather than the other way. In other words I am tugged or drawn to it. I am not talking about people or situations that want my involvement and me blindly responding. They can ask, request, desire my attention. Yet that attention just happens in those places that are most natural. Now, like everyone else, I have my moments where I fool myself, rationalize, and go with what comes or what I think I should do. But these days, I am looking more deeply to read the signals. This is the only way I can learn their language.
My Nia training clearly states going to my body to observe. Have you ever had the experience of being asked a question and having your body respond without any doubt? Before you know it, a strong answer practically jumps out of you through a hand gesture, a facial expression? That is your body talking. Meanwhile, the opposite is when the answer is not so clear or clouded by too much other stuff, that you give a verbal answer and have your witness (the part of you that observes) almost waiting and listening to see if there is something else coming, another answer or part of an answer. That’s a signal that there’s more to it. It’s similar to flipping a coin, not liking the result, and then wanting to choose 2 out of 3 flips. I’ve also learned along the way, that sometimes when I’m facing a question and get confused that it’s not a useful question. Either it is not important to me or needs to be re-arranged to make it valuable.
There is great beauty in having to make a choice. It puts you firmly on a path of clarity. Like you, I’ve had many situations when I didn’t want to make the choice. Sometimes I felt I wasn’t ready and other times I wanted to keep all my options. Having made a big one this summer on whether to accept the invitation to become a Nia Trainer (I chose ‘no, not at this time’) has made me reflect deeply on what I’m then saying ‘yes’ to. Rather than return to my life as it has been, I’ve been seriously questioning and looking for my ‘YES!’ The process seems to be asking for a few more ‘no’ responses before I can make more room for the big ‘Yes’ that I’m seeking. This is giving me space. This is developing empowerment. This is creating curiousity. What will choose me now?
You should do what I do when making decisions. Look to my intuition…no answer, ask God…no answer, choose a tarot card…wrong answer, choose another, don’t like that one either…make a wrong decision, regret, regret, regret…ask God why…no answer, and around and around we go…Very purposeful life I lead, don’t you think? Cheers! Mira
Haha, yes that is such the norm for many of us. This is where I ask, when do you step forward? ie When do you just do something without question or hesitation? When you don’t step forward and you’re still looking for an answer – perhaps you made your choice but didn’t like it? I’m coming to the conclusion (at least for the moment) that when the answer is ‘yes’, there is no thought, waiting, wondering, simply action takes over. How about act on the ‘yesses’, keep the focus there. My motto these days, “experiment and see what happens”. Keep well!
Thanks for this timely post, Jas. Going to the body for clues about decisions really resonates with me. I recently made a tough decision the seemed wrong “headed” but RIGHT in my heart. There’s the body talk! Keep writing lady! I look forward to each post!