I’ve had a bubbling come up this week that I felt compelled to discuss as I’m sure it will resonate with many women entrepreneurs, leaders, professionals. It’s not the kind of thing that’s usually talked about in business, but it IS something that directly impacts success and fulfilment.
It’s about the Wild Feminine. {Yes, there’s the Wild Masculine too, I will save that for another time.}
We all have ‘her’ within us. Some women have come to know her and make sure they never make a decision without her. The cost of ignoring her is far too much, you see. History shows the consequences all too clearly. And in our own lives, we all have more than enough examples that prove this (the disappointments, betrayals, losses, ‘wrong’ paths taken and so on).
Here’s a quote from the amazing Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD that speaks to this:
“Life in the desert is small but brilliant and most of what occurs goes on underground. This is like the lives of many women. The desert is not lush like a forest or a jungle. It is very intense and mysterious in its life forms. Many of us have lived desert lives: very small on the surface, and enormous under the ground.
A woman’s psyche may have found its way to the desert out of resonance, or because of past cruelties or because she was not allowed a larger life above ground. So often a woman feels then that she lives in an empty place where there is maybe just one cactus with one brilliant red flower on it, and then in every direction, 500 miles of nothing.
But for the woman who will go 501 miles, there IS something more.”
Do you know of what she speaks?
Maybe you’ve already had a few journeys in life and business where you went farther, for the REAL you to live above ground in all your GLORY.
What I see most women not realizing is that you don’t just take this journey once. It must be taken over & over again at different points in our life. Or, we get stuck, very stuck. We become parched. We’ve over-given and not let ourselves receive or have what we really wanted. We haven’t let our Wild Feminine lead.
The Victim, the Bitch, and the Wild Feminine
When we don’t honour the Wild Feminine, she goes to extremes – behaves like a victim(blaming people, circumstance, money for not being able to do or have what really she wants, or simply hiding behind “I can’t because” and then always being too busy, too tired, too something…)
OR she turns into the ‘bitch‘ (controls, manipulates, gets angry, bullies, grabs what she wants, causes drama, betrays others and herself).
When HEALTHY & EMPOWERED, the Wild Feminine is the NATURAL part of us that knows the way, that brings richness and flavour to life, that creates new energy, that draws in the exquisite opportunities, that attracts fulfilling relationships, that up-levels our businesses. It is within the Wild Feminine that intuition speaks, that courage and integrity live, that mountains are moved, that has everyone turn and look at her in amazement.
When we are not honouring her, we can be all over the place, forever stuck in decision-making (what am I MEANT to do??), or forever-in-waiting.
Like many entrepreneurs, I’ve had to challenge myself often. To do this, I had to choose and re-choose who I was going to BE. Who would lead the show – the victim self, the controller, or the naturally empowered Wild Feminine?
It’s only the Wild Feminine that has ever created the results I truly sought.
The other two are BOTH weaker states of action and may “win” for a moment, but eventually *like any addiction* take more from you than it’s worth.
As I made new decisions, I began to see how so many of us simply weren’t taught these essential elements of our true self. No wonder we act out of our own knowing!
I saw how many of us do things in a the way that doesn’t create too much attention. It’s like we think we get to have some things we want, but not TOO much.
The Wild Feminine usually has other ideas up her sleeve that will truly nourish and expand our life. Her ideas are rarely ‘convenient’ though (which is why the backing away happens) and they show up far too soon, far before we FEEL ready.
This will be with our financial goals, our business ideas, our art, our spiritual beliefs, our relationship choices…these may be tempered to look “sane” on the surface when we’re afraid that people will call us crazy. (Yes, a ploy to stop us from doing what we are meant to do.)
The Fears that Maintain the Glass Ceiling
The above may bring up intense shame, guilt, fear…and initial disempowering thoughts of, “Why can’t I have what I want?” “Why is it so hard?” These hidden emotions and thoughts must be faced in order to be eliminated.
But a woman is equipped for this. A woman is made for this depth of creation.
Most of us are afraid on an unconscious level that we will be disowned, ridiculed, abandoned, maybe even ‘killed’ for being different, for choosing differently (a deeply hidden fear even if not a reality, although for some it really does feel like that could happen).
The assumed safe path, though, just covers what’s deeply hidden from view so it never gets dealt with.
The Excuses that Arise
The most common excuses show up, “It’s not the right timing.” “Let me get my act together and then I’ll do it later.” “I have to raise my children – another 20 yrs – and then I’ll get to my real dreams and that business I wanted.” “When I have more money, I’ll do it.” “When I get that extra degree/retire, I’ll do it.” “When I finish renovating my kitchen, I’ll do it.” When, when, when…
Those comments seem like such great “reasons” that we keep using them.
BUT, this is not the truth. They are lies of fear that grow into stuckness, stalling, disappointment, bitterness, resentment.
Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of abandonment, fear of living “under a bridge” (yes, one of my clients said this). And for mothers, the worst, fear of being called a bad mother. These fears must be exposed for the lies they are.
I chose to get to the ‘bottom’ of what was stopping me or slowing me when I wasn’t looking. It was some RAPID growth I had to go through, including investing in my growth at a level I had never before done. I noticed that this made some of my girlfriends very uncomfortable. I naively hadn’t realized what a taboo topic ‘money’ was for women (earning what they deserve or the choice to invest in their true dreams). There seemed to be limits of what was OK.
This, in part, led me to be a Coach, a Guide, a Mentor. I saw how essential this ‘training’ was and how it hadn’t been part of our university degrees or upbringing.
Strangely, I felt a level of new freedom, ease, self-confidence, and joy in the way I operated. My business felt more like the real ‘me’. I could deliver what would transform others. In my personal life, people told me how happy and relaxed I looked.
If you’re feeling any of this, then I’m letting you know it’s TIME. Feeling the burn of this is what can change everything. I know this may be intense, but it’s important.
What Changes When You Step Into Your Wild Feminine
The core hidden issues I discussed can be dealt with ONCE AND FOR ALL (otherwise they will always undermine your actions, even if in subtle ways).THEY ARE THE GLASS CEILING, not who or what you think is.
Imagine what you could create from that place, beyond the old paradigm. No more shame and hiding, or doing things the conventional way so people don’t see your truth.
—> As you do, people will treat you better, your intuition will have space to talk to you, opportunities will arrive at your door because you’re actually available, finances are free to grow because you’ll be back in charge rather than in states of naively hoping, wishing, waiting.
—> You will get over over-thinking, analyzing, processing, trying to make everything “perfect” before you get to do what is YOURS TO DO. Complaining to your girlfriends will hold little pleasure. This alone will FREE up major energy reserves.
Life responds when you decide to change. It then GIVES you what the Wild Feminine inside knows is meant to be hers.
I have found that using a unique and personally crafted mix of business, intuitive, emotional, intellectual approaches is what leads my clients to their transformation in the form of internal/external change, results, and inner happiness.
Living from the Wild Feminine
As you heed the Wild Feminine, you will be guided to go where you need to and be who YOU are:
—> LIVE your clarity, purpose, deeper calling and finally get over the procrastination, overwhelm, confusion.
—> Land that *I-can’t-believe-this* opportunity you’ve been seeking for so long.
—> Take your business to the level that brings in clients you LOVE to work with and at the FEES that don’t take you to burnout and financial stress.
—> Free your self-expression to CREATE your art with the real YOU instead of playing it safe and pandering to what you think works (but doesn’t really).
—> Be able to regularly hear your Wild Feminine whispering her intuitive knowing to you and stop stressing about which way is the “right” way.
—> Stop “processing” and analyzing everything to death. Decision-making will simply become CLEAR CHOICE.
—> And have far more pleasure and enjoyment. 😉 Yes. Without the Wild Feminine, this can never really be fulfilling in the way a woman truly desires.
…and so on.
That results you want are up to you to choose. Your Wild Feminine already know what they are. She is never confused.
A liberated woman is in her Wild Feminine. And with her, the world is a better place. Step in and let her lead.
Jasjit Rai is a Certified Coach who leads and empowers entrepreneurs and leaders to take their vision into reality with the Wild Feminine/Masculine intact, integrity at the core, and inspired actions leading to results. If you’d like a private confidential consultation to discuss her coaching packages that can take you where you are ready to go, contact her today, info@joiworks.com. {There are 3 free spots per month. Once they’re booked, the consultation is $375.}
