In the past, my immediate answer would’ve been, “yes, if it’s the right decision, why wouldn’t it feel good?” It appeared black and white. Yet, I found myself suffering in making a decision last summer and for a couple of months after that. The decision I faced was whether or not to step onto the training path to become a Nia Trainer by 2012. Well, it was a huge honour to be invited and that alone made me want to say “Yes!” This is a practice I’ve been doing for over 11 years now and firmly believe in, having seen the results for myself and my students. To be recognized for my commitment, work, and leadership was a great feeling. Not all our occupations have Oscar ceremonies and red carpet galas (wouldn’t that be fun?) to acknowledge us, and the letter I received felt something like receiving a nomination – though one that marked a beginning of a new journey.
My decision was a quiet “no”. It surprised me as much as it did everyone else. Essentially, the timing was not right for me. I was more in the mood for an Oscar after-party than I was to begin memorizing lines for a new movie, as it were. That was fine. The suffering troubled me. I expected lightness, relief, ease. It was not usual for me to experience confusion after a decision was made. However, every time I asked myself, “do you want to say yes instead?”, no clear answer came back. I knew that if and when I did say yes, it would be a “YES!” and I needed to wait until then. That is the only way I would do it.
I had a skype call earlier today with Ken Gilbert, a Nia Trainer based in California. We had last spoken in the fall when I was ok with my decision, but not exactly feeling elated. He checked in with me to see how I was now. It was great to have the conversation and his insight into me was affirming. I’m just not the kind of person who can do things because it’s “time”, instead I do them when they feel right to me. There were many reasons that the time seemed right (this was what caused the confusion and upset), but it didn’t feel so. Through our conversation, I realized I no longer had an emotional charge around my decision. I was ok.
Meanwhile, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying teaching Nia these days. I now have the freedom to play with all I’ve learned up to my Black Belt, instead of having a new prescribed learning path that was feeling too structured for me at the time. I get to take Nia to new places in my life and in the lives of others. Now I know without question, that my future “YES!” wil be solid, not a “ye-ss”, or “yes..?”, or even “Yes”. Trust the timing. Nothing is ever lost, it’s just brought back more refined, powerful, and ready.
Here are photos of me and my students (Judy, Jon, and Padma hidden in the background) at the Diversity Health Fair Nia demo in February! It was fun – check out the volunteers who got so into it (Nia has that effect)!
Thought I would share a few quotes regarding decisions, choices, and feelings as they seemed appropriate, as follows:
“Let the waters settle. You will see stars and moon mirrored in your being.” –Rumi
“Never are we nearer the Light than when darkness is deepest” – Swami Vivekananda
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~David Russell
“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.”
– Buddha
My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general, if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
– Pablo Picasso
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
– Helen Keller
Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?
– Fanny Brice
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” – Cherie Carter-Scott
Thanks for sharing Mira! This is great. The first one speaks to me in this moment. It feels so peaceful and easy!
P.S…My method of making decisions and knowing they are the right ones, is knowing that they are wrong when it takes far too much cotemplating, debating, analyzing and dissecting. If it is that tough, it is likely not the right decision at the time, because God knows I’ve made many of those wrong decisions to understand the process. The problem is when I then go on to make what I think is the right decision, and then I start comtemplating, debating, analyzing, and dissecting, and then I start wondering if I made the right decision afterall. Now see what you have done…I’m so confused 🙁 I’ll just resort to pulling tarot cards.
Mira
Oh yeah, I get it! That’s what I was doing which was causing the stress. The answer was not what I wanted to hear from myself and I kept searching my mind for another truth that would help me say “YES!”. It wasn’t there. This is where my Nia training comes in handy (funny how I didn’t want to use it then 🙂 and sense what is inside – gets me out of my head and I notice how quiet and peaceful it can be ‘in there’.
Right…trust the instinct and not the deceiving mind that spins around in circles and causes grief when your instinct leads you to peace …easier said than done, but meditation, in whatever form that may be, is always a good way to quiet the mind 🙂
You know I came across this poem I have never heard before, until today. It is “The Journey” by Mary Oliver and it reminded me of your blog “Do Right Decisions Always Feel Good” and thought it might be relevent, albeit untimely to share. Check out this link (and if you google for interpretations of this poem, there are some really interesting and thought-provoking intrepretations – mine interpretation is “listen to your instinct – the voice within”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WL_YrqS0ik&feature=related
Wonderful poem, music, and images! Thanks again for sharing enlightening material.