Real change is that which goes under the surface and essentially repatterns things in a fundamental way. Superficial change is sugarcoating and it covers the surface with something that looks attractive, but leaves the essence unchanged.
Superficial change may look like any of the following: dressing up in confident looking clothes yet still feeling insecure, doing repetitive fitness moves without your soul and emotions engaged, reading personal growth books and not taking action, succeeding at work without a real sense of fulfillment, or smiling when you feel numb. When life is busy, it’s easy to succumb to this posturing. Take a look and check in with yourself. Is there any part of your life where you may be doing this? It’s the kind of thing that can creep up when you thought you were doing your best! And it will feel empty.
I’ve given you a hint to one of the causes. Busy-ness is a big culprit. When busy, the truth gets masked. Feelings of loneliness, fear, doubt, anxiety or depression get hidden under the surface rather than seen so they can help you take the steps you need.
The most powerful way to alter anything is to slow down so you can really see and feel it. Real change means going to the core even when it ain’t pretty. This may not be easy by yourself, especially if you’ve let ourself be blinded by rationalizing things that don’t feel quite right.
So what leads to fulfilled heart? Let’s look at what that looks and feels like first in a simple and powerful exercise.
Think back to a time when you had it. What was going on? Usually we feel totally engaged in life. It could be great relationships, meaningful work, a purpose bigger than ourselves, or laughter arising from the simple act of living life. Before you read further, take yourself to this time or place through your imagination and let the feelings sink in.
Ok, now bring those feelings into the present moment. Let them live in your body. How does that feel? Can you sense your eyes sparkling? Can you feel your heart beating? What is going on? There is always a physical sensation. Now let that feeling stay a while. Take it into your day and you will be more alert to anything that takes you away from it and you will be more alert to that which nourishes it. This is how you will begin making decisions to support real change.
Your heart is most fulfilled when you can let joy live inside of you no matter what is going on outside. It means allowing yourself to feel, not only happiness but all emotions. It means allowing yourself to know the truth and being ready to do what needs to be done with it. It means not waiting in hopes that things get better, but making decisions that align with your vision. This may mean taking action or it may mean reaching a truth within and confidently sitting with it.
Real change is the moment that you begin making decisions from a place of joy and choosing to make it your default setting. It may require a significant decluttering of things or thoughts that don’t work. (This is one place you can start on the outside by cleaning out your drawers, closets, and shelves. I’ve been doing that and it has been amazing, creating space for the new.)
Once you’ve slowed down, cleared some space, realized that you are ready for real change, then what? In my experience, real change is created by taking action and getting help. If you can do it by yourself, you’ll find your jets fired up and action growing through momentum. Wonderful!!
But if you find yourself feeling lost or unclear on what to do next, then you’re going to need support. Most of us fall into this category. Fortunately, there are so many ways to get support these days. So many people have gone through what we may think is only our challenge and many of them are happy to be our guides. When we ask for help from those that are willing to give it, we are both blessed and gifted.
I am a firm believer in joining a course, enlisting in a program, or hiring an expert. It can take you from only producing superficial results to a well-earned leap. It can also reduce the time required so you can spend it doing what you really want.
A big reason most people stop from reaching out for professional support is money. Money is energy though, and if it’s only focused on paying your monthly expenses, that’s where it’ll remain. If you use it to support the bigger changes you want, then it’s being invested wisely. Once you begin treating money for what it is, it begins to work for you. If you’re not sure how to do this, find an expert who’s good at it.
You’ll notice that real change brings out aliveness, desire, a wild peace, and laughter. It transmutes energy into results. Real change gives hope to everyone around you. It is the beacon that many lost souls look toward when things feel impossible.
Is it time for your real change? What can you do next to say “Yes”?
I offer inspired coaching programs. Having worked with several hundred people throughout my career, my skill is in being able to see the bigger you from an inspired (coming from spirit) place. I offer insights that remove your limited vision and help you walk deep into your heart where the real and powerful you resides. If this is your time, let’s get started.
