Is it worth sharing pain?

🙂     🙁

I have always been an optimist. And with the general public, I tend to share positivity, whether it be in my writing, my classes, or my work with clients.  Inspiring others is a a key purpose in my life.  At the same time, I believe in sharing my difficult moments and painful experiences with my close friends along with the joys. To me, this is really including them in my  whole life, not just the polished and happy parts.

I’ve noticed however that many other people aren’t able to do this so readily, or are uncomfortable with it.  A primary fear is that they’ll appear negative and drag others down. Of course this may be the case if the conversation turns to whining. Or they may really want to appear like everything is ok – if you keep saying it is, won’t it come true?  I don’t believe this is helpful in the end. It reduces intimacy and trust. We need to be able to share in each other’s lives when we desire a close relationship. So many times I’ve heard about problems friends have had months or years later (usually when things are better again).  This saddens me. I see friendship as being there for each other. Holding each other’s lives as precious, meaningful, and worthwhile is such a gift. Feeling another’s pain (without getting drowned by it) keeps us human.

I know the fashion these days is to keep conversations positive and in many cases, this is good.  But I also hope people can remember the value of sharing themselves. My deepest relationships have always been those that allowed this level of connecting and being together through life’s roads.  We seem to be losing the ability to feel (there are so many ways to numb out!).  But as it is said, we really must feel in order to heal.