Feeling January Joys or Blues?

The elation of having a brand new year, to carve my path through, is usually my January delight.  This year, I’ve had little time to immerse myself in that experience and am finding myself a little blue as we come into the final stretch of the month. Yes, I did say that I wanted to “fly out of the gate” after January 1st and begin 2012 with a metaphorical bang.  And that’s what happened.  I got what I asked for.  On the flip side, this means that I didn’t have my usual week or two to get adjusted while I dreamt of new visions and dreams for the year. I hadn’t realized that getting one thing would mean not having the other!

The funny thing with our desires is how clear we can be about wanting something and forgetting that it may mean less of something else.  More freedom, less structure or definition or direction.  More projects and contracts, less time for visioning and planning and dreaming.  More wonderful relationships, less time for self…At least initially, until we adjust, understand, and create the time for our most important needs.

Might it be best not to want so much?  

Well some religions certainly consider desire a problem for it is endless and insatiable. I find desire adds spark and dynamic energy to life.  Not being so attached to outcomes always helps keep things in balance.

So if you have achieved or received a desire of yours and are finding yourself also struggling with it, I’d suggest giving some attention to the shift you are experiencing and making yourself aware of the transition you’re going through. You can take action in the direction you are seeking while keeping your heart connected to a sense of wholeness.  What are the qualities you were wanting when you threw out that particular desire (happiness, excitement, stability, pleasure, relief, love)?  Nestle into what you are now getting. Enjoy it.  Revel in it.  You will have less time to worry about what’s not there and instead keep moving forward into what is!

My work life has become quite full in a way I was seeking.  So I’ve been missing my time for reflection, feeling, sensing, and dreaming.  Pausing each day to enter this state is what helps me centre and feel fulfillment. I am pleased with the changes, but have had my temper tantrums in making them!  I’m being reminded of my need to be patient and compassionate, qualities I easily forget to give myself.  I’ve adapted to so many changes throughout my life (and created many of them), that I forget how much energy they require.

This weekend I allowed myself to rest, make some brushstrokes on a new canvas, write, connect with friends, enjoy a last minute opportunity to see Lalala Human Steps (it was ballet on speed!).  (Note: I actually had to force myself to start, even though I love these things.) They brought me back to art and creativity where my heart gets stroked and my mind opens to more light.  And slowly, I find myself feeling hopeful again, with splashes of January Joy. Just in time as we have a new moon and the Chinese new year arriving.  I feel relief, knowing there is still time and space to paint in my new year.  It’s  not over if I haven’t figured it all out yet!!  (oh, the pressures we put on ourselves.)  And I must not forget that I am moving in the direction of my dreams.  All is well.

Take a few moments to enter your heart and caress it in the ways only you know how. Join me in January Joy 🙂 Tell me about your brushstrokes, dreams, inspirations, joys in the early days of 2012. Drop a comment or question to this blogpost!  Sharing inspires.