What Are You Not Wearing and Why?

Do you have one or more items in your wardrobe that was bought with the intention to take you from an old comfort zone into something new? Maybe it’s a never before worn colour, something more beautiful or sexy than you’d normally choose, or even a piece that oozes confidence? While you purchased these with the excitement of wearing them and bringing into your life the qualities they possess, they somehow grew far too comfortable hanging in your closet and remained there.

If this story rings true for you, you’re certainly not the first! Over time, I’ve learned to do less of this and buy things that I will wear today, not in some distant future when a hypothetical event arrives requiring exactly that outfit that I drooled over but rarely got a chance to wear.

At the same time, however, I’ve realized that choosing such an item in the first place signified more than I was willing to realize.

I was at a client’s place the other day doing a wardrobe cleanse.  Let’s call her Suzy. After half the session was over, Suzy pulled out a couple of beautiful items that she was dying to wear, but hadn’t found an occasion for yet. We talked about what was stopping her and what they represented. Her eyes quickly welled up with tears. I had seen the real her. I knew the pieces were a reflection of what she wants to bring out, but didn’t quite know how to do yet.

What had stopped her? There was the practical side of matching the items with pieces that she still had to purchase. This was an easy task for me and I gave Suzy some ideas, which she loved, and one she’s already acted upon. Then there was the deeper emotional dream that she feared she couldn’t quite live out. This is where my career coaching came in handy as we talked about her goals and ambitions and whether she was going for them. Wanting to update her wardrobe at this time was her way of saying that she now wanted to be ready. We talked about specific ideas on how to do that so she could step more firmly into her dreams.

I also encouraged Suzy to get comfortable wearing the pieces at home on occasion until they begin to feel more natural. (Personally, I’ve created events so I could wear outfits that otherwise may not have seen the light of day!) Sometimes it takes time to get comfortable in our skin, especially when it’s one we may naturally hide from others, or more often, the parts that we hide from our own selves.

While our culture promotes being confident, beautiful, and successful, it can also feel fake to dress that way unless we nurture and develop these qualities within. That’s why so many shy away from fashion – it brings up things we don’t always want to feel, the parts we feel we lack or want to hide. That is also why fashion has power. It exposes what you are comfortable expressing and what you are not comfortable expressing. So my thought is, why not make clothing a bridge to becoming more of who you are?

If you’re holding onto things and not wearing them – ask yourself, what do they represent? What am I afraid to show? What am I willing to now express? How can I get more comfortable with what may feel like a “new me”? Clothes can just be clothes, or they can be a window to your soul as you step outside everyday having consciously chosen how to show up in to the outside world.

As a personal stylist with a deep interest is in personal growth, these are the things that I help you answer so you can feel and look attractive while being totally comfortable in your skin.