Knowing Thyself Leads to Success and Fulfillment
February 1st, 2012 § Leave a Comment
When was the last time you completed a self-assessment questionnaire or test? Most people first come across one in high school when they’re exploring what to do with the rest of their lives out in the “real” world. Many never do another one, unless they find themselves looking for a new career and end up having the fortune of talking to a career counsellor (important note: only trust career counsellors who are living or moving closer to their true dreams!). Believe me, it’s way better doing a career assessment as an adult when you have more of a clue about who you are and will be less swayed by the opinions of others.
Going through a self-assessment is something I highly recommend doing every few years.
All of us change over time. Even if we hold similar interests, we grow and learn and come closer to our real preferences and desires. As we develop into adulthood, we are are doing fewer things because we’re supposed to and more things because we want to.
Career assessments provide valuable information on who you are: your skills, interests, preferences, personality and abilities. While many things may appear obvious to you, I am certain you will be pleasantly surprised when you go through this process thoroughly.
The surprise could be a result of discovery things about yourself that you didn’t realize (i.e. I do like math!) or prove to be an affirmation of who you know yourself to be (i.e. I am an artist!). The former could give you confidence to use more of a skill you may have taken for granted to help build your dreams. The latter can offer the encouragement you need to remain committed to your heart’s desire. Or if you’ve really been ignoring your own soul and its gifts, the assessment may show you in black and white that you’re destined to go where your heart can sing. Either way, a full assessment will enhance your career and life by the insight it offers.
I recently went through the Holland Codes, a questionnaire I hadn’t done for years. While I could’ve predicted the general result without doing the questionnaire, the formal process made it so much clearer and more powerful. In the order of their prevalence, my three main codes currently are: Artistic, Enterprising, and Social. What it did for me was affirm that I’m on the right track. I felt good, knowing that I am using many of my top skills and attributes in my work life. They are also reflected in Joi Works, my company, and its services. Living by your DNA cannot help but lead you to success.
What was new as I did the questionnaire this time round was that the artistic piece is now a frontrunner. This was not the case 10 or 20 years ago. It may have been a mere dream, and not one that I would’ve owned, since I’d done little skill building in this area at the time. So I am delighted, knowing that what I feel in my heart and soul is echoed by this rational, methodical test. It gave me back my personal power.
Over the years I have had a wonderful array of potential careers according to the tests I’ve done including: clergy (spirit is of prime importance to me), designer/artist – fashion/graphic/industrial (a path begun, but much more I’d still love to do), career counselor (done it and doing it), public speaker and writer (done it and doing it), director (often been a leader/teacher)…and a few more that make my heart sing.
So, is it time for you to do a self-assessment? Go for it. It’s more fun, fruitful, empowering, and accurate than reading the daily horoscope! It will give you a level of clarity and confidence that you may have forgotten is within your own power. If you’d like my assessment services, go to the career coaching page at Career Joi and book a session. Get ready to reignite excitement for your life.
Know thyself and let it lead you to a life of true fulfillment and meaning.
Feeling January Joys or Blues?
January 23rd, 2012 § 4 Comments
The elation of having a brand new year, to carve my path through, is usually my January delight. This year, I’ve had little time to immerse myself in that experience and am finding myself a little blue as we come into the final stretch of the month. Yes, I did say that I wanted to “fly out of the gate” after January 1st and begin 2012 with a metaphorical bang. And that’s what happened. I got what I asked for. On the flip side, this means that I didn’t have my usual week or two to get adjusted while I dreamt of new visions and dreams for the year. I hadn’t realized that getting one thing would mean not having the other!
The funny thing with our desires is how clear we can be about wanting something and forgetting that it may mean less of something else. More freedom, less structure or definition or direction. More projects and contracts, less time for visioning and planning and dreaming. More wonderful relationships, less time for self…At least initially, until we adjust, understand, and create the time for our most important needs.
Might it be best not to want so much?
Well some religions certainly consider desire a problem for it is endless and insatiable. I find desire adds spark and dynamic energy to life. Not being so attached to outcomes always helps keep things in balance.
So if you have achieved or received a desire of yours and are finding yourself also struggling with it, I’d suggest giving some attention to the shift you are experiencing and making yourself aware of the transition you’re going through. You can take action in the direction you are seeking while keeping your heart connected to a sense of wholeness. What are the qualities you were wanting when you threw out that particular desire (happiness, excitement, stability, pleasure, relief, love)? Nestle into what you are now getting. Enjoy it. Revel in it. You will have less time to worry about what’s not there and instead keep moving forward into what is!
My work life has become quite full in a way I was seeking. So I’ve been missing my time for reflection, feeling, sensing, and dreaming. Pausing each day to enter this state is what helps me centre and feel fulfillment. I am pleased with the changes, but have had my temper tantrums in making them! I’m being reminded of my need to be patient and compassionate, qualities I easily forget to give myself. I’ve adapted to so many changes throughout my life (and created many of them), that I forget how much energy they require.
This weekend I allowed myself to rest, make some brushstrokes on a new canvas, write, connect with friends, enjoy a last minute opportunity to see Lalala Human Steps (it was ballet on speed!). (Note: I actually had to force myself to start, even though I love these things.) They brought me back to art and creativity where my heart gets stroked and my mind opens to more light. And slowly, I find myself feeling hopeful again, with splashes of January Joy. Just in time as we have a new moon and the Chinese new year arriving. I feel relief, knowing there is still time and space to paint in my new year. It’s not over if I haven’t figured it all out yet!! (oh, the pressures we put on ourselves.) And I must not forget that I am moving in the direction of my dreams. All is well.
Take a few moments to enter your heart and caress it in the ways only you know how. Join me in January Joy 
Tell me about your brushstrokes, dreams, inspirations, joys in the early days of 2012. Drop a comment or question to this blogpost! Sharing inspires.
Makeovers Create Confidence
January 18th, 2012 § 2 Comments
January is a great time to sift through your closet and see what needs to be thrown away and what needs to be bought as we proceed through the next months of winter. Perhaps you received some gifts of clothing over the holiday season and need to prune your closet so you can fit them in? Or better yet, it’s a new year and you’ve decided it’s time for a new look and feel both inside and out!
Whatever your motivation, I highly recommend doing a wardrobe check-up about three times a year and January is perfect.
A recent client had me work on her wardrobe cleanse and a personal shopping trip. She had planned to sort out her own closet but quickly realized that it was difficult for her to know what to throw out and what to keep. That’s a key reason why people hire professionals to come in and help.
I’ve said before that clothing carries our energy and when our closets aren’t organized and carrying the clothes that really suit and flatter us, they can feel quite heavy or draining as we open them. Working with Julie Ann was a pleasure because she was really willing to open up to something better and let go of what wasn’t working. I had to laugh as she smiled in the greatest delight every time I told her to throw something out. In fact, her exact words in those moments were, “I love you! I love you!”. Now that’s someone whose open to change and feeling good!
A style questionnaire and the wardrobe cleanse informed my pre-shopping research to find clothes that would do her far more justice than her old wardrobe and stay within her budget. She kindly agreed to let me post some before/after photos. Everytime I’ve seen her since, she’s been beaming and telling me how wonderful she feels with a wardrobe that fits and flatters and is so comfortable. She also realized that going to outlet stores isn’t always worth it. She constantly gets compliments now and people have really noticed how her new looks brings out her best.
Before styling
Before styling
Before styling
After personal styling
After personal styling
After personal styling
After personal styling
I love seeing people develop confidence and joy in who they really are. If we have but this life to be who we are now, doesn’t it deserve us being our best and loving it? Dressing well can change the most mundane or difficult activity into one that has positive energy because we choose to show up and express ourselves in and through it.
Shying away from expressing your true self is shying away from life itself. While it can appear scary and overwhelming at times, it’s still better to dress for the occasion! You just might find yourself standing there with courage, audacity, joy, and power.
The Best Resolution for a New Year
January 1st, 2012 § 6 Comments
Feeling good, or great, or fantastically wonderful.
That’s it. Keep that as your homing signal and all else will work around it to create it.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel good, it breeds more good? I was doing just that as I wrote in my journal a few days ago by looking at what was making me happy and grateful. Within a few moments, I noticed how that led to a whole list of highly creative ideas and clear action steps. And all I did was sit down and choose to do some writing.
As you feel good, you naturally attract new thoughts, ideas and create action that is in alignment with this state of being. That’s the direction to go. Whether it be tiny steps or giant leaps (i.e. go for whatever feels best, tiny is ok, it’s still moving forward), it doesn’t matter. Simple.
Well ok, it doesn’t always feel simple, but that’s natural. You’re on a new learning path to practice this state of being that is closest to your truth. And the farther away from it you’ve been living, the more uncomfortable, awkward, or strange it may initially feel. Trust me. You’ll be moving in the right direction by going to feeling good, or as I often call it, following your joy. So just keep going. It needn’t be a leap, a little hop will do just fine.
Does this mean that there won’t be any difficulty, anger, sadness, disappointment along the way? No. But once you realize that, it’s easier to accept. They’re a part of the ride and only temporary. In fact, those emotions and experiences are the information you need to re-direct your attention to that which you desire as a feeling. Sometimes feeling the anger takes us to happiness by way of realizing what we want, need or will accept. Other times disappointment leads us to change in ways we didn’t know was possible. These are our signposts. They help us keep clearing the mirror so it can reflect clarity and shine our truth back to us, which is good and joyful and real and loving.
We all want to be happy. And that in my mind is a wonderful place to aim for, and it’s closer than most of us imagine. Put it out there as your guiding light and notice how you make decisions and take action in you career, love life, relationships, dreams, endeavours. Stay in the moment. And ask, what feels good? And if you can’t get there right away, then ask, what feels better? Dancing, going for a walk, taking a time-out, reaching for a punching bag, writing it all down, saying what you really think, or turning your attention to what you love? Choose something and watch your energy, thoughts, and feelings transform. The energy of negative emotions is energy that naturally shifts and can lead to empowerment. It takes one small thought or action to move in the feeling good direction. Once you do that, you are connected to a whole chain of good feelings and experiences.
What about the stuff you left behind in order to feel good? Don’t you have to sort it out sometime? I actually used to worry about this. And then realized the answer was, “no, not really”. Funnily enough, stuff usually sorts itself out as you aim your movement in the direction of your dreams. In fact, you begin to see how much of your talk and action is superfluous!
And if you need further support on this new journey, contact me and let’s talk (There’s a reason my business is called Joi Works! It’s what I do through coaching, fitness, and personal styling.). And check out a few of my favourite inspirers: Martha Beck, Coach extraordinaire, Jeanette Maw, Good Vibe Coach and fantastic blogger, and Abraham Hicks – channelled messages that go right to the heart of things, in fact here’s an entertaining one…
This year, vow to go for feel good. And discover its power. Start right now. What feels good or better in this moment?
Meeting Icons, part 3
December 20th, 2011 § 2 Comments
At the start of the fall, I began to write about seeing and meeting with icons. Unless the remaining two weeks surprise me, I saw my my final rock star of the year at his intimate show at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Totally professional, smooth, and filled with personal stories, Sting graced the audience with his talent. It wasn’t the usual rock’n'roll feel, which honestly I missed, however his continued ability as a singer and songwriter was proven. My favourite was his solo finale of “Message in a Bottle“, sitting in the spotlight, just him and his guitar – incredible. It even recorded well on my iPhone, it was so clear!
The most unusual part of this event for me was how grounded I felt at the end of the concert. It was a healthy enjoyment rather than an adrenaline-filled high, which is more common in my experience. My sense is that it has a lot to do with who this man, Sting, is when he’s not performing and being a rock star. He shows his realness. He expresses his vulnerability. He knows there is so much more to life than the illusion of stardom. He shared with us his three favourite subjects: music, sex, and religion. 
Needing a dose of his beauty, I purchased an autographed CD (pictured above) and a cheeky t-shirt. Ah, what fun!
And last but not least, a couple of months ago, I went to see The Human League in concert at the small Rickshaw Theatre on East Hastings. It initially seemed an odd venue, but ended up being perfect as we got to be upfront and close to the band. Coming from Sheffield, England, the Human League became popular in the 80s with their world hit “Don’t You Want Me Baby“. While I liked them back then and sang along to that song like everyone else, this time I fell in love with them. Their ability to present their material years later with the energy of being here now (that is with passion, love, presence) was incredible. Their older songs certainly lasted the decades they’ve lived. And their new material was just as fabulous. They were also dressed to perform, looking more gorgeous than they did before in my opinion. The audience loved them and they loved us back by their fabulous show.
We are all stars when we let our light shine. Spending time with other stars, we can remember we all come from the same stardust whether we operate in small spheres of the world or large. It can be fun and delightful to place all this star power on others, as I seem to love to do at times, but we will be most fed when we receive their message to shine our own.
So, perhaps you, like me, will want to look at how you can be your own star in 2012. And for that, the right wardrobe is a must. Off to check mine…!
Talk Less Listen More
December 7th, 2011 § 3 Comments
The need to fill silence with sound is rampant. The truth is that most of us are afraid of silence, fearing what may lie beneath it. This is not intentional, it’s simply a habit that has become the norm.
Talk covers things up as often as it attempts to express them. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we are really saying, perhaps finding ourselves on autopilot repeating old stories and thoughts.
The ability to listen to others begins with listening to ourselves. Meditation is one of these ways. But not all of us find meditation by sitting in stillness. It can come in many forms. Engaging in an activity that quiets your mind is essentially the intention. This may include walking, knitting, drawing, dancing, playing with a child, fitness, or gardening to name just a few. The more times we do this in a week, the more grounded we feel and the more we hear the most important things.
When we truly listen, it’s not just the words that we understand. We allow our whole selves to listen, and our heart is at the centre of the listening. We are conscious of the connection with the other whether they be a stranger or a loved one; in that moment we are one. We catch what is being said and what is not being said. We allow space for that to become clear. We learn what body language, tone, silence and the choice of words mean. We don’t need to force conversation for we see it is already happening. And then we decide when we need to speak and what feels important to say. Checking in to see if you understand correctly by taking in all the information you’re getting gets you further than relying on incessant talk alone.
Listening must include the heart. We need to soften into it, take our defences down, trust that we can accept or handle what we hear. We need to drop our own desires in order to truly listen. We can pick them up again later. Truth reigns over illusion when we listen completely. Through this process, we open ourselves to learning something new that empowers us to take the next step on our journey with love.
Imagine if we all began allowing more space in our conversations. What might we hear?
And, oh, how we may find ourselves releasing our burdens together and relaxing into trust.
Find the Gold in Perceived Limits
November 29th, 2011 § 2 Comments
When situations that feel limiting show up in our lives, most of us do one of two things. We may get into fix-it mode – or – we whimper, “woe is me, why is this happening? it’s not fair!…“. Well, if it’s easily fixable, then I say go ahead and do it! Take the action, make the change. If you find yourself whining and hanging in a pit of despair on the other hand, maybe you need some of that to become aware of unhealthy thoughts that you’re holding onto. That may be enough to remind you to change your thoughts!
Meanwhile, if your perceived limit isn’t going away and ends up hanging out much longer like a guest overstaying their welcome, it may be time to look deeper. What is this limit here to show you?
Know that it is time to look, listen, and see a new truth.
Three of the most common concerns that people like to lament about have to do with money, relationships, and health. Since lamenting and worrying doesn’t change a thing, let’s turn a new leaf. Be with what is for the moment, and trust that there’s a hidden pot of gold that is waiting to be found!
Material things do have value and it’s natural to want fulfillment in each and every one of the key areas. What isn’t always easy to see is that the moments of lack may actually show us the value that we are looking for and re-align ourselves to receive it. They may also help us see how we can be happy with or without.
When we are happy without, we tend to be more grateful and appreciative with. We take less for granted and we begin to use what we have in more optimal ways.
If you feel a need for more money, what are you noticing in the meantime? Likely, you’ve become more discerning, choosing that which holds value for you. Perhaps you realize that you’ve forgotten your ability to make more money and it’s time to re-discover it? If you want a life partner or more friends or a closer family, what are you learning without them? Perhaps, you’re forced to find out what makes you love life and yourself. You could also find that you now have the freedom you are secretly craving. Or you need the time to create the “new” you in relationship to others? What about wanting better health? Is illness showing you that you need to take better care and you haven’t been? Is it asking you to receive and ask for help from others when you normally wouldn’t? Is it a time to ask yourself the tough questions and determine what really matters the most to you?
Rare is the person who welcomes going through tough times. Yet, the ones that seek the hidden pot of gold in their situation are the ones that come out shining and better for it. Difficult times always bring us back to questions that keep us in alignment:
- what matters most?
- what do you value?
- are you being true to yourself and others?
- is it time to change to who you have become or return to who you always have been?
Find your gold in what is happening now, and the rest will follow.
Choose with Love and Find Treasure
November 23rd, 2011 § 4 Comments
Life is a treasure when you treasure life. This goes for work, money, health, relationships, and everything else. It is your treasuring of it that creates value and meaning.
What does it mean to treasure? It goes beyond loving and caring. The best way I can put it is that we imbue something (or someone) with a sort of magical and glittering presence in our life. Consider the word, “treasure”. Doesn’t it conjure up images of a chest full of glittering gold, diamonds, and rubies hidden deep beneath the sea? The precious stones shine and glow and project light. When we treasure something, we light up. We feel like we have found our pot of gold.
This is all of our making of course, but that’s what makes it what it is. It’s a subjective experience. For whatever reason, we choose to give something a magical power that has meaning for us, and perhaps for us only. That power that we create feeds us – not the actual thing, person or experience alone – but what we make of it.
Interestingly, having fewer things creates greater value. It’s easier to treasure a few things, a few people, a few qualities, for treasuring takes time and attention and deep caring. Quantity fragments our attention and reduces depth of feeling and value. The specialness gets lost. It is best to choose with love. A life filled with a few treasures can be so much richer than a life just filled with “more”.
When I first moved into an unfurnished place years ago, it sat empty for two months, except for a mattress to sleep on. My desire was to get to know it, and over time bring in things I loved. One day, I found THE sofa, a gorgeous loveseat. It cost more than two months rent! Yes, you can buy a whole living room set with that amount of money, but quantity was not what I was going for. Nor was it the price tag that made it special (that just made me think a bit longer, and fortunately I did have savings). The key was choosing only that which I loved and leaving the rest.
I struggled with the decision for a bit, but then knew that I had fallen in love with it and how deeply I would regret it if I didn’t get it. And if I could be so happy with an empty apartment, I’d rather have this one beautiful sofa and take time for the rest to follow!! It had many qualities that I valued of course, but the highest one was the feeling of love. Ever since (13 yrs ago), it has been a treasure and ongoing gift to me.
So it is with life, making choices becomes so much easier when we know what we love most, what is of most meaning, and what brings us natural joy. When you clearly know what is of value to you, it makes every action in your life much clearer, and it brings in the delicious experience of treasuring. What do you treasure in your life? Give it the attention, love, and caring it deserves. Discard the rest.
And by choosing with love, your life will be rich forever more.
What is the Meaning of Synchronicity?
November 7th, 2011 § 3 Comments
Synchronicity is an experience that has fascinated me for a long time. I’ve read many books that discuss the importance of noticing it. I must admit though, that I’ve found it both a challenge and a joy. And sometimes, like recently, there’s so much of it! Being awfully bottom-line oriented in my quest to understand the Universe (haha), the only question I really wanted answered was, “For the love of God, what does it mean?!?”
Does it mean that the signal offered is the way to go, or I need to pay attention, or is it just fun and happy coincidence? Or could it be all three? Or is there a piece of the puzzle that I don’t have yet? Those of you similar in your desire to understand the ultimate question of Life, the Universe and Everything will understand this need to know!
What synchronicity has told me that there is a lot going on beneath the surface. We are connected, and any moment we forget this, such experiences can bring us an awakening. A doorway opens and shows us something that indicates there is much more than the limited ways we had been thinking. In and of itself this is a humbling and much needed miracle moment. After all, consider the mechanics it takes for synchronicity to appear.
Is there always meaning? Last year, I took a vocal workshop with about 20 participants. One evening, a few days later, I chose to take a longer route home than usual even though it would take more time. Upon entering my building, I saw one of the workshop participants from the previous weekend. We hadn’t spoken before, but recognized each other. Getting in the elevator, we also realized we were going to the same floor! I was so puzzled that I struck up a conversation and found out he was buying a computer part from someone who also lived here. He seemed a little stressed or distracted or confused, so the conversation didn’t exactly flow.
I didn’t learn anything that felt of particular significance to me, although perhaps it did for him on some level. I don’t know. But it was uncanny. I couldn’t help but think of the logistics it took for it to occur. The slightest change in timing and this encounter wouldn’t have taken place. We are all connected. And our connection goes beyond what most of us know. Sometimes, these clues simply mean we are in the right place in our life at the right time and to trust it. Enjoying the mystery is half the fun.
Does synchronicity require action? The most common question people have is about what to do about synchronistic experiences. Many of us look for signs when we come to a difficult or puzzling choice. In these moments, I believe it is smart to look around and see what shows up. The key to look for is your reaction or response. How do you feel when you experience the synchronicity? Does the signal make you more confused? Or does it make you feel surprised, excited, happy, calm, relieved, energized or affirmed? You may even cry tears of joy, feeling as if you’ve found the answer to your soul’s deepest calling. Your response is the one that counts. It will show you the way.
Of course, there are some situations which appear amusing, curious or “just a coincidence”. Examples of these include seeing a long series of green cars parked in a row, or two people with the same odd hairstyle walking past each other, or dreaming of a rhinoceros and seeing a big poster of it the next day. These have become, for me, moments to look up and be present. They make me smile or perk my ears up like a dog. I find I give more attention to the rest of the day, which can shift everything. On two occasions this year, I was sure I met angels disguised as humans, people I barely knew. They gave me such clear advice on something I had asked silently. Both occurred after setting a clear intention during my Nia classes. Just contemplating the presence of angels warmed my heart and made me feel deeply supported, shifting my energy and creating action.
On the whole, synchronicity is a reminder of the mystery of life and how much we don’t realize. When you notice it, it means your eyes are open, you are mindful to an invisible world, your soul can speak to you more easily. This is a good thing. It helps you wake up and really see, knowing that someone or something has heard you and has responded.
What I’ve learned most from synchronicity is that its meaning is up to each of us. And if we can’t decipher it, then it we don’t need to or it isn’t time. On the other hand, if it leads you closer to home, to who you are, to your deep and fulfilling truth, then it is vital. It will be known by the tug of your heart, by the pull of your desire. What do you want? What do you really want, at this time, in this moment? That may be as far as you can truly see. And that is likely the way it’s meant to be.
Dress Up to Discover Yourself this Halloween
October 27th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
As a child, there were a number of things I loved about this fun made-up day called Halloween. Dressing up was a favourite part of course, but it was also an adventure to be out and about at night as a child. Knocking on neighbours’ doors made it feel like a community – perhaps the only time that adults connected to the children in the neighbourhood. And I carried my little orange Unicef box knowing that my collections, love and Halloween joy would be carried all the way to a child in Africa or somewhere special. Really, how could life get more fulfilling than that? Costume, adventure, mystery, community, gifts, and charity.
Fast forward decades later to yesterday…I was having lunch with a friend and we were both admiring the adorable costume a young girl wore. I asked my friend, “What do you think the world would be like if children got to dress up in costumes all the time?” And she replied, “Oh, it would be SO different.” Yes, I believe it would. I sense that it would connect us to another world, the one of our fantasies, fears, joys, curiousities and dreams in a way that isn’t so illusive. Are you willing to connect to the fun and beautiful parts of your desires and willing to show them to the world? Or will you opt for the scary or ‘dark side’ costumes? This could be a brave step towards acknowledging the parts that you want to be accepted, understood, and given space. As humans, it’s amazing how few emotions we allow to be seen or expressed. And this hiding keeps us bound up and unable to feel whole and truly powerful. Playing with all of who we are allows us to take things more lightly while uncovering the shadows and dancing in our full light.
It is so fun to see children and adults dressed up to celebrate, whether they be trick or treating, going to a party, or at their job! So, what about you? Play with clothing, make-up, wigs, props and see what new elements come out – whether you leave the house or not! (My only regret on Halloween has been not dressing up enough! And at a party, you just look weird if you come as ‘normal’. haha) You’ll use your creativity, have fun, discover more of who you are, and transform for a day or night -> realizing how easy it can be. So, what will it be for you: obvious, safe, daring, unexpected, or maybe, beyond your wildest dreams?
This Sunday, you are invited to come dressed up for Nia class. Experience a whole new freedom while working out in costume! See what happens. Scotiabank Dance Centre, 11:00 – 12:15. And if you want some night-time fun, there’s always the Parade of Lost Souls near Commercial Drive.
